Unless you have been living under a rock for the past two decades, you already know what to do to reduce stress, and you don’t need a “professional” to tell you yet again to slow down, eat right, sleep enough, and exercise. What to do? Prepare.
Welcome to the BG blog, in which I offer practical advice on how to create thriving teams -- in couples, at the office, and even within yourself (yes, we each have a "team" of voices and players within). I'd love to hear your thoughts and how the posts are impacting you in the comments section. And do tell me more about what topics you are interested in reading about.
I was writing, or attempting to write in my favorite coffee shop, when I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation between two women, one complaining vigorously about going home for Thanksgiving.
In the 7th post in the Relationship as a Team Series, what each partner wanted, more than peaceful and clear communication, was to tear the other’s head off. When the aggressive impulse is lurking and leading underneath the content, no well-meaning model of communication stands a chance.
Wouldn’t it be useful if more personal fights had a more professional consideration, with less defensiveness, less reactivity and less projection? The 6th post in the Relationship as a Team series.
In the fifth post in the Relationship as a Team series, we explore a great way to have fights that matter and avoid ones that don’t: Download your own inner Google Translator.
The fourth article in the Relationship as a Team Series. Most of us have a convoluted relationship to conflict. If we’re not conflict avoidant, we’re conflict prone. One of the first steps to finding balance, is to be able to tell the difference between a good fight and a bad one, and act accordingly.
In the third post in the Relationship as a Team Series, Ed doesn’t want to take the garbage out at night. It’s too cold, he’s tired. Susan finds this frustrating. In the morning it’s too full, or too smelly. If he forgets, then she has to do it.
They have this fight a few nights a week, before bed.
The second post in the Relationship as Team Series, scheduled maintenance talks require couples who avoid talking to each other to move towards conscious teamwork and allows couples who work too hard to live life with each other, instead of processing life with each other all the time.
A client came to me distraught.
He had been struggling in his relationship. His fiancée was non-responsive to his needs. She was consumed with and depressed about a touchy situation at work and wanted to stay home, enjoy take-out and watch TV, preferably with but even without him.
When I allow the dismal thoughts and stories associated with the feelings to lead (“I am alone,” “I will be alone forever,” “I am too old, too picky, etc.”), the team within is immobilized. I find myself wandering aimlessly in a very bleak forest. But when I cradle my pain in one arm while holding faith, hope and trust in myself in the other, I move through the world with an exquisite tension.