One seemingly ordinary January day, I was walking along the road from my home in the woods to run some errands in the little town of Woodstock, NY. My brain, churning a million thoughts — about my relationship, my work, my close friends — suddenly stopped, and what appeared before me was . . .
Welcome to the BG blog, in which I offer practical advice on how to create thriving teams -- in couples, at the office, and even within yourself (yes, we each have a "team" of voices and players within). I'd love to hear your thoughts and how the posts are impacting you in the comments section. And do tell me more about what topics you are interested in reading about.
When we are unprepared, our vulnerability gets triggered, which is a good thing in terms of growth and learning for the next time. But if we take the time to really learn, and prepare to better handle what threw us off center the last time, the more opportunities we will have to risk and bring our vulnerability to our partners by choice.
You’ve probably found yourself analyzing and diagnosing your significant other, hoping that he or she will listen to your diagnosis and change. This is both natural, and potentially toxic.
Change is destabilizing — and for most people, destabilization is very triggering. When people are emotionally triggered or feeling insecure, relationships suffer. Sometimes, sadly, they cannot withstand the stress, and people grow apart.
But does that make personal growth an adversary to good relationships?
Even if you’re in a good relationship, a great relationship, it can be pretty easy to lose touch with your partner. When you lose touch with your primary partner, you can lose full access to your heart, your vitality and your natural good cheer, or, as they like to say, holiday spirit.
I’m not going to be telling you how to “be with your loneliness” in the hopes that one day you will be more like the rest of us grown-ups, chasing kids around and secretly feeling nostalgic for the days when our lives looked like yours. I don’t hope for you — unless it’s your heart’s desire– that you will be partnered soon and eventually forget this time.
So many people get unhinged during traveling. Atypical hostility and tension mount. The rush, the anxiety, the transition seems to throw people over the edge. Here are a few tips that might help you and your partner get through it with more ease.
I was writing, or attempting to write in my favorite coffee shop, when I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation between two women, one complaining vigorously about going home for Thanksgiving.
Growth is a part of leadership. Sooner or later, you will have to trust someone else to do the jobs that you can no longer (or were never really able to) do.
When a big storm is coming, mother nature lets you know. Wind, clouds, humidity and barometric pressure all change in established and predictable ways. Relationship patterns are not so different from weather. If you want to change the stormy patterns in your relationship, I recommend you begin to look for the warning signs in your partner, and take cover. (6th post in the Leadership in Relationship Series).