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I was onsite interviewing several employees about their work environment, when, between meetings, I couldn’t help but overhear the playful banter of two IT guys, pouring over a monitor at a station nearby. They were trying to fix one problem when they apparently uncovered another, unrelated problem. They paused for a second. Then, one said: “Not my problem dot com.” He stared into the screen and moved on to something else. I giggled quietly. And I wondered: was he speaking...

In the 7th post in the Relationship as a Team Series, what each partner wanted, more than peaceful and clear communication, was to tear the other's head off. When the aggressive impulse is lurking and leading underneath the content, no well-meaning model of communication stands a chance.

One of the things I really enjoy about working with business leaders and organizations is the ability to grow by focusing on something outside oneself. As a therapist, my focus was internal and naturally, always directed towards my clients. As we talked, we focused on the emerging stories, and intensely on each other. In that sacred space, much about relating in general is revealed. It is a binary process. In my work with businesses, our focus is on growing the initiative. Even...

I was talking to a man who started dating. He was irritated because when he took his date to the restaurant, she said, "I can’t eat here. It’s not vegan.” He didn’t mind her food preferences and thought there would be some options for her at the place he chose. But her declaration had a tone of entitlement.

You may not need leadership skills to make your vacation a smash — but consider these five simple steps to make what you have planned even better.

5:45 am is not my best time, especially if there’s no coffee around. But that’s the time I was groggily awaiting a tour bus to take me from my desert hotel to a sacred site in Australia, a very large rock in the middle of the Outback called Uluru.   Without an International driving license, a professional tour was really the only way for me to see an Uluru sunrise — a spectacular daily event as the light comes up...

When a big storm is coming, mother nature lets you know. Wind, clouds, humidity and barometric pressure all change in established and predictable ways. Relationship patterns are not so different from weather. If you want to change the stormy patterns in your relationship, I recommend you begin to look for the warning signs in your partner, and take cover. (6th post in the Leadership in Relationship Series).

  A few years ago, when Twitter was new and addicting, a tweet popped up that caught my eye. It asked, “If you were standing in front of your tribe, what would you say?” I immediately imagined myself standing in front of my Jewish ancestors. They stared at me blankly. Finally I said, “I am really, really sorry, but I don’t like Temple and I thoroughly enjoy pork.” But the novel and intended meaning of the word tribe revealed itself quickly enough,...

I’ve generally kept my political views out of public sight — not as a matter of pride or principal; it is simply good business. I would hate to think that my political views propelled an otherwise inclined person to reject me as their guide through the self-confronting and rewarding process of stepping into one’s authority. But that choice was much easier before social media, before an intense polarization between parties, candidates, and ideologies was paraded before us via constant stream....

I discovered something essential about being a leader many years ago during my drama therapy internship at the West Haven Veterans Hospital. I was left in charge of eight burly Vietnam veterans to run their weekly “relationship lab”; a group which used improvised scenes to explore styles of communication and the effects of PTSD on interactions.