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Why didn’t he understand? Why did she get SO upset? I WAS JUST BEING HONEST!!! This has been you at some point, right? You were just having a simple, no-biggie talk with your significant other. Or your colleague. Or your sister. And then, whoooooaaaa . . .you thought expressing your feelings would clear the air and make you feel better, but it just made everything worse. Honesty is of incredible value in this world of alternative facts. Sometimes, our honesty...

It is important to consider when and how honesty is useful, and how much honesty is necessary to get your point across. It is good to see where some self-containment, little white lies and omissions are occasionally well employed. Therefore, when giving feedback or expressing honestly, ask the right questions. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

I was onsite interviewing several employees about their work environment, when, between meetings, I couldn’t help but overhear the playful banter of two IT guys, pouring over a monitor at a station nearby. They were trying to fix one problem when they apparently uncovered another, unrelated problem. They paused for a second. Then, one said: “Not my problem dot com.” He stared into the screen and moved on to something else. I giggled quietly. And I wondered: was he speaking...

In the 7th post in the Relationship as a Team Series, what each partner wanted, more than peaceful and clear communication, was to tear the other's head off. When the aggressive impulse is lurking and leading underneath the content, no well-meaning model of communication stands a chance.

This weekend I celebrated the 50th year of a close friend. It was a momentous and intimate gathering, and many people who could not attend contributed their thoughts and feelings about the birthday girl via letters to be read aloud. As we sat around the candlelit table, sharing these heartfelt words of appreciation, I could feel what a profound and powerful gift was being exchanged. We were all deeply moved, ricocheting between bursts of laughter and tears. My friend saw...

You may not need leadership skills to make your vacation a smash — but consider these five simple steps to make what you have planned even better.

  Not too long ago, nestled between the political rants, adorable animal videos and proverbial ‘happy life’ photos of my Facebook feed, this video stopped me in my tracks. In it, a young girl with a prosthetic leg receives a fancy doll who also has one, and she is overwhelmed by raw emotion that appears to be part joy for receiving a gift she so badly wanted, and part self-compassion, sparked from the experience of being mirrored. “She’s just like...

When a big storm is coming, mother nature lets you know. Wind, clouds, humidity and barometric pressure all change in established and predictable ways. Relationship patterns are not so different from weather. If you want to change the stormy patterns in your relationship, I recommend you begin to look for the warning signs in your partner, and take cover. (6th post in the Leadership in Relationship Series).

I’ve generally kept my political views out of public sight — not as a matter of pride or principal; it is simply good business. I would hate to think that my political views propelled an otherwise inclined person to reject me as their guide through the self-confronting and rewarding process of stepping into one’s authority. But that choice was much easier before social media, before an intense polarization between parties, candidates, and ideologies was paraded before us via constant stream....

Here we are, again at the start. So many new opportunities to lead in love, to hold your own while loving another. To love, without losing you. We look for impact in our profession, in our level of success: how much did we earn, how did we lead, what contributions did we make? But we often neglect to assess the direct impact we have daily in our personal world:     Impact on our children, our parents, our partners, our...