The first in a series about leadership in relationship, this backwards post is meant to provoke thought and reflection about how and why we fight. If you're in a partnership, romantic or business, at some point in time you are going to disagree. Conflict is unavoidable. And some people, maybe even you, make a habit of it. Fighting in a loop de loop is a treacherous sport. Here's how to perfect it:
A variety of relationship experts are counseling men to pump up their masculinity and women to return to their softer feminine sides, in the hopes that some lost chemistry between the sexes will return. What’s great about these ideas is that it encourages men and women to think about pleasure, polarity and how they want to feel. But let's not sidestep the judgement in this way of thinking.
Do a search on Amazon for leadership books and more than 133,000 titles come up. In that saturated space, some authors will explain how to lead other people, small to very large groups of them, and others will teach how to lead within your own life. Read enough of them, and you’ll start to see a formula on how leaders should BE: authentic (hard for many to really know what that means); humble; curious; calm, empathetic, open, and funny. You’ll also collect...
You’ve probably found yourself analyzing and diagnosing your significant other, hoping that he or she will listen to your diagnosis and change. This is both natural, and potentially toxic.
Change is destabilizing -- and for most people, destabilization is very triggering. When people are emotionally triggered or feeling insecure, relationships suffer. Sometimes, sadly, they cannot withstand the stress, and people grow apart. But does that make personal growth an adversary to good relationships?
Growth is a part of leadership. Sooner or later, you will have to trust someone else to do the jobs that you can no longer (or were never really able to) do.
When people are under the gun, unless they are super clear on what their job is, they may unconsciously resort to four main default "jobs," while what they are actually contracted to do takes a close, sometimes distant second.
On a recent summer day, a large group of family and friends were enjoying a picnic at a local state park. After eating, the kids jumped up to play, while the parents hunkered down at the next table for some adult time, which was abruptly interrupted.
Everything of high value requires your protection: Your sentimental objects, your iPhone, your children, your health, your IRA. So why not your dear, dear heart? Counter to popular new age philosophy that being open with and about everything is the key to living well, I am going to counsel you to protect your vulnerability.