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When a big storm is coming, mother nature lets you know. Wind, clouds, humidity and barometric pressure all change in established and predictable ways. Relationship patterns are not so different from weather. If you want to change the stormy patterns in your relationship, I recommend you begin to look for the warning signs in your partner, and take cover. (6th post in the Leadership in Relationship Series).

  A few years ago, when Twitter was new and addicting, a tweet popped up that caught my eye. It asked, “If you were standing in front of your tribe, what would you say?” I immediately imagined myself standing in front of my Jewish ancestors. They stared at me blankly. Finally I said, “I am really, really sorry, but I don’t like Temple and I thoroughly enjoy pork.” But the novel and intended meaning of the word tribe revealed itself quickly enough,...

I’ve generally kept my political views out of public sight — not as a matter of pride or principal; it is simply good business. I would hate to think that my political views propelled an otherwise inclined person to reject me as their guide through the self-confronting and rewarding process of stepping into one’s authority. But that choice was much easier before social media, before an intense polarization between parties, candidates, and ideologies was paraded before us via constant stream....

Master of one Renown writer, teacher and Buddhist nun Pema Chodron tells the story of being sent by her teacher to direct North America’s foremost Tibetan Buddhist monastery. After years of devotion, Chodron excelled at practice, scripture, stillness and meditation. But in her new position, Chodron discovered that she was no Buddha. She quickly learned that she had no idea how to lead effectively, and people were not shy about letting her know how bad she was at it. Her...

Here we are, again at the start. So many new opportunities to lead in love, to hold your own while loving another. To love, without losing you. We look for impact in our profession, in our level of success: how much did we earn, how did we lead, what contributions did we make? But we often neglect to assess the direct impact we have daily in our personal world:     Impact on our children, our parents, our partners, our...

A little while ago I crossed paths with the most gorgeous, good natured, collarless puppy. I named him Brad Pitt-Bull and took him home. He was very friendly and well-behaved for a three-month old pup. Pit Bulls have scary reputations, but this little guy followed me around everywhere, obeyed all my commands, and waited for the chance to shower me with kisses, snuggle in my lap and fall asleep. I talked to my “in the know” dog friends and learned...

In the middle of a risky conversation with a steady boyfriend, one in which we were confessing our doubts about moving to the next level, he brought up the dreaded N word. The other N word. He was concerned that I might be a narcissist. Gulp. I had just come from a conversation with a colleague who referred to the selfie stick as “the narcisstick,” complaining about our culture’s bloated obsession with self-promotion, and, since I do a fair amount...

If you have been hanging out online, you’ve probably noticed the copious amounts of free stuff that entrepreneurial practitioners like myself — teachers, coaches, artists, writers, etc. — have to offer.* To begin with, there are blogs and articles that showcase skills, philosophies and advice — information you used to have to purchase via book, magazine or other publications. Blog posts and other online written materials enable you to get to know a practitioner’s voice. The idea is that if...

I made a different funny face for every ridiculous reason Barry gave for his decision to stop dating his fabulous new love interest (she doesn’t like rock music; she’s shorter than most women he dates; he’s not sure if his son would like her kids — who Barry himself hasn’t met). Then, he got quiet. “I know I set out to find a relationship, but maybe a relationship would be too much,” he said. “I’m just getting a sense of myself,...

The first in a series about leadership in relationship, this backwards post is meant to provoke thought and reflection about how and why we fight. If you're in a partnership, romantic or business, at some point in time you are going to disagree. Conflict is unavoidable. And some people, maybe even you, make a habit of it. Fighting in a loop de loop is a treacherous sport. Here's how to perfect it: