If you have been hanging out online, you’ve probably noticed the copious amounts of free stuff that entrepreneurial practitioners like myself — teachers, coaches, artists, writers, etc. — have to offer.* To begin with, there are blogs and articles that showcase skills, philosophies and advice — information you used to have to purchase via book, magazine or other publications. Blog posts and other online written materials enable you to get to know a practitioner’s voice. The idea is that if...
When we are unprepared, our vulnerability gets triggered, which is a good thing in terms of growth and learning for the next time. But if we take the time to really learn, and prepare to better handle what threw us off center the last time, the more opportunities we will have to risk and bring our vulnerability to our partners by choice.
Change is destabilizing -- and for most people, destabilization is very triggering. When people are emotionally triggered or feeling insecure, relationships suffer. Sometimes, sadly, they cannot withstand the stress, and people grow apart. But does that make personal growth an adversary to good relationships?
I recently received this comment from a colleague who unsubscribed from my e-mail list: "I just have too many emails coming into my box, I need to streamline, you understand!" I certainly do understand.
I felt my heart leap into my throat and tears stream down my cheeks, and I noticed others blinking back their tears. We looked at each other with compassion. New Yorkers: The most hardened people in the world. They had become real to me. We were sharing a sacred moment in the subway.
You can’t always choose how life is going to go, but if you pay attention to the roles that simply take over and lead you nowhere, you can begin, as Katherine models, to select what roles you want to play. And that enables you to steer the relationSHIP to safety in rough waters.
Katherine got into the car, and immediately felt Steve’s lousy mood suck all the air out of it. “Oh no,” she thought. She knew Steve wasn’t thrilled about going to visit her brother’s family. It was a chilly winter Sunday. He wanted to lounge about, watch the games, and stay put. But she expressed it was important to her and he had agreed to go. Does he always have to punish me with his mood? she wondered, agitatedly. She was...
When you compare where you are with where you want to be, you will feel inadequate (a flavor of shame). When you compare where you are with others who are doing what you want to do, you will feel deflated (yet another flavor!). And when you set out to do that big marketing thing that you are avoiding, and your avoidance wins, you will feel slightly more than disappointed in yourself. How to keep moving?
I once had an eccentric boss. Everyone liked the head receptionist, but after a year on the job, her work ethic began to disintegrate. She made too many personal phone calls. She forgot to deliver important messages. She frequently arrived late. The boss called her into his office for a chat in which everyone, including her, thought she would be fired.
Are you someone who just loves conferences and workshops? Or do you have mixed feelings about attending them? For me, it's definitely the latter. When I'm with large groups, overtired from travel or stimulation, over-networked and over-stuffed with information, the demons and default feelings tend to emerge.