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Somewhere in my news feed I saw a clip of our nation’s elected leader in Houston, telling the media and hard-hit flood victims, “Have a good time everybody.” It reminded me of the moment when, in the throes of the worst tragedy ever to hit my beloved hometown of New York, our mayor encouraged us to “go shopping.” Leaders may believe that encouraging people to make light or turn away from tragedy calms them, but I know the opposite to...

Years ago I heard a captivating talk by Resonate author Nancy Duarte at the World Domination Summit. Duarte’s talk, delivered seamlessly and in fact, resonating deeply, was about the elements of a great speech.  Her talk modeled everything she spoke of: it had a good story arc in which the audience was the hero, and she, as guide, clearly illustrated the potential for our success as speakers. She spoke mostly of renown speakers like Martin Luther King Jr. and Steve Jobs, but she included just the right...

If one doesn’t immediately come to mind, you’re probably scanning your life for your latest bad habit. Is it the late-night, TV-watching snacks? Or the TV watching itself? The addictive drugs or alcohol you’ve struggled with over the years? Maybe it’s more like a vice, like coffee. Or your phone. As you wade through the pile of destructive habits, I’ll wager there’s one that’s worse. A killer that lurks beneath the other habits, and one you may not have even...

One of the things I really enjoy about working with business leaders and organizations is the ability to grow by focusing on something outside oneself. As a therapist, my focus was internal and naturally, always directed towards my clients. As we talked, we focused on the emerging stories, and intensely on each other. In that sacred space, much about relating in general is revealed. It is a binary process. In my work with businesses, our focus is on growing the initiative. Even...

The more you say these words with conviction and presence, the more you experience what it means to show up for yourself. What it means to be there when the shit hits the fan, when your life as you know it falls to pieces. And if you are interested in deep love and leadership, it will do just that from time to time.

A few years ago I worked with a woman who had been suddenly and brutally abandoned as a young girl by her father, who left her family for another in another country. As you might imagine, as a grown woman, trusting men in intimacy was extremely difficult. Every perceived threat of abandonment by an intimate — like a late returned phone call or decision to go somewhere without her — would set off a chain of reactions that felt real...

This weekend I celebrated the 50th year of a close friend. It was a momentous and intimate gathering, and many people who could not attend contributed their thoughts and feelings about the birthday girl via letters to be read aloud. As we sat around the candlelit table, sharing these heartfelt words of appreciation, I could feel what a profound and powerful gift was being exchanged. We were all deeply moved, ricocheting between bursts of laughter and tears. My friend saw...

Donald Trump recently declared that he would not take the advice of his seasoned political colleagues to shift tactics because “It’s just not who I am.” A pundit immediately responded, saying, of course — one has to be true to one’s self — plus, you can’t change someone who’s 70 and stuck in their ways. This brings up a lot of questions about authenticity, malleability, our behavior and our ability to change it. Before we delve in, here are a...

A woman I know was preparing to interview for a huge internal promotion. She hired a coach to help her develop her C-level persona so she could really step into the role via body language,  leadership awareness, and even wardrobe. Throughout the exhaustive rounds of performance interviews, she kept a confident stride and spoke authoritatively with the partners on how she would add to the culture. There seemed to be no other candidates with her qualifications. She had a good feeling about it.

  Not too long ago, nestled between the political rants, adorable animal videos and proverbial ‘happy life’ photos of my Facebook feed, this video stopped me in my tracks. In it, a young girl with a prosthetic leg receives a fancy doll who also has one, and she is overwhelmed by raw emotion that appears to be part joy for receiving a gift she so badly wanted, and part self-compassion, sparked from the experience of being mirrored. “She’s just like...