As we parsed through the Bad News updates, and the liquor smoothed away some of the serious edges, we joked that it might be best to simply end it all. It was determined that death by drowning in my hot tub would be a most sensational way to go.
And then, with a tone of genuine support, he asked, “What ARE you going to do moving forward?”
I told him about the book I’m writing, helping relationships thrive by teaching leadership skills that will get couples out of their drama and on the same team.
“I’m bored already,” he said without a beat.
My stomach sank. I reminded myself that he’s in marketing, and a good enough friend to be honest about his reaction.
“Give me a minute!” I retorted, and walked him through some of the ideas and principles I offer in the Lovers and Leaders paradigm of relationship I am creating. He perked up (what a relief). We got into some interesting conversations, about men, women and past mishaps in his relationships that the skills I recommend might have averted.
But after I left, I thought about all those relationship books on the shelves of Barnes and Noble, and wondered: What if it people do think it’s boring? How will it stand out?
But then I had a mini-revelation:
What if it is a little boring, and what if that’s not bad?
The tension of opposites
Most of us want a fabulous love. A fairy tale, ecstatic, thriving relationship. And perhaps, in our desire to experience it, we don’t take the time to deal with some very basic and useful steps that could help us really have more of what we want. We avoid laying the groundwork and doing the maintenance which could help us sustain the passion — tasks which some may consider to be, well, boring if not anti-romantic, or at the very least, sort of a buzz kill.
As excited as you are about a new business venture, you wouldn’t start a small business partnership without a plan; without several meetings to establish what your vision for the business is, who is going to play what role and what your expectations are. And in today’s market, you better know what your real purpose in launching the business is.
And so it should be in love. In this day and age where we have so much choice about relationship, taking the time to create a vision for your relationship, cultivate an understanding of WHY you are together, and decipher what roles work and what roles really don’t is paramount, even if it seems like the boring or less exciting part of love. But like the steady web of tree roots taking hold into solid ground, these are the activities and principles that allow us to grow, soar and bend together in the sometimes ecstatic and often destabilizing winds of love.
But when applied in love, it can help you trust and relax. And that sure makes the sexy part even sexier.
Do you resonate? How do you lead in relationship? Leadership skills can help reduce drama and increase fun, creativity and satisfaction in our relationships. Want to learn how to stand in your authority in intimacy? Don’t miss your chance, in the Intimate Authority Online Course, starting May, 18 2015!