Blog

One of the things I really enjoy about working with business leaders and organizations is the ability to grow by focusing on something outside oneself. As a therapist, my focus was internal and naturally, always directed towards my clients. As we talked, we focused on the emerging stories, and intensely on each other. In that sacred space, much about relating in general is revealed. It is a binary process. In my work with businesses, our focus is on growing the initiative. Even...

I was talking to a man who started dating. He was irritated because when he took his date to the restaurant, she said, "I can’t eat here. It’s not vegan.” He didn’t mind her food preferences and thought there would be some options for her at the place he chose. But her declaration had a tone of entitlement.

A few years ago I worked with a woman who had been suddenly and brutally abandoned as a young girl by her father, who left her family for another in another country. As you might imagine, as a grown woman, trusting men in intimacy was extremely difficult. Every perceived threat of abandonment by an intimate — like a late returned phone call or decision to go somewhere without her — would set off a chain of reactions that felt real...

This weekend I celebrated the 50th year of a close friend. It was a momentous and intimate gathering, and many people who could not attend contributed their thoughts and feelings about the birthday girl via letters to be read aloud. As we sat around the candlelit table, sharing these heartfelt words of appreciation, I could feel what a profound and powerful gift was being exchanged. We were all deeply moved, ricocheting between bursts of laughter and tears. My friend saw...

  Not too long ago, nestled between the political rants, adorable animal videos and proverbial ‘happy life’ photos of my Facebook feed, this video stopped me in my tracks. In it, a young girl with a prosthetic leg receives a fancy doll who also has one, and she is overwhelmed by raw emotion that appears to be part joy for receiving a gift she so badly wanted, and part self-compassion, sparked from the experience of being mirrored. “She’s just like...

When a big storm is coming, mother nature lets you know. Wind, clouds, humidity and barometric pressure all change in established and predictable ways. Relationship patterns are not so different from weather. If you want to change the stormy patterns in your relationship, I recommend you begin to look for the warning signs in your partner, and take cover. (6th post in the Leadership in Relationship Series).

I’ve generally kept my political views out of public sight — not as a matter of pride or principal; it is simply good business. I would hate to think that my political views propelled an otherwise inclined person to reject me as their guide through the self-confronting and rewarding process of stepping into one’s authority. But that choice was much easier before social media, before an intense polarization between parties, candidates, and ideologies was paraded before us via constant stream....

Here we are, again at the start. So many new opportunities to lead in love, to hold your own while loving another. To love, without losing you. We look for impact in our profession, in our level of success: how much did we earn, how did we lead, what contributions did we make? But we often neglect to assess the direct impact we have daily in our personal world:     Impact on our children, our parents, our partners, our...

“One of the simplest paths to deep change is for the less powerful to speak as much as they listen, and for the more powerful to listen as much as they speak.” — Gloria Steinem Way back when I was a student and budding practitioner of psychotherapy, I took refuge in the wise words of writer/therapist Sheldon Kopp. He borrowed the title for his book “If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!” from an ancient Buddhist Koan....

In the middle of a risky conversation with a steady boyfriend, one in which we were confessing our doubts about moving to the next level, he brought up the dreaded N word. The other N word. He was concerned that I might be a narcissist. Gulp. I had just come from a conversation with a colleague who referred to the selfie stick as “the narcisstick,” complaining about our culture’s bloated obsession with self-promotion, and, since I do a fair amount...