Why didn’t he understand? Why did she get SO upset? I WAS JUST BEING HONEST!!! This has been you at some point, right? You were just having a simple, no-biggie talk with your significant other. Or your colleague. Or your sister. And then, whoooooaaaa . . .you thought expressing your feelings would clear the air and make you feel better, but it just made everything worse. Honesty is of incredible value in this world of alternative facts. Sometimes, our honesty...
The more you say these words with conviction and presence, the more you experience what it means to show up for yourself. What it means to be there when the shit hits the fan, when your life as you know it falls to pieces. And if you are interested in deep love and leadership, it will do just that from time to time.
I discovered something essential about being a leader many years ago during my drama therapy internship at the West Haven Veterans Hospital. I was left in charge of eight burly Vietnam veterans to run their weekly “relationship lab”; a group which used improvised scenes to explore styles of communication and the effects of PTSD on interactions.
Growth is a part of leadership. Sooner or later, you will have to trust someone else to do the jobs that you can no longer (or were never really able to) do.
On a recent summer day, a large group of family and friends were enjoying a picnic at a local state park. After eating, the kids jumped up to play, while the parents hunkered down at the next table for some adult time, which was abruptly interrupted.
Even if you work at home in your PJ’s at a job you love, being in any one mode for an extended period of time — be it work, parent or even play — has a diminishing effect. A Soul Fetch, described more fully below, is a way to transition out of the role you play during the day and get back to the fluid essential you, returning to yourself some of the energy you have been putting out there.