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It is important to consider when and how honesty is useful, and how much honesty is necessary to get your point across. It is good to see where some self-containment, little white lies and omissions are occasionally well employed. Therefore, when giving feedback or expressing honestly, ask the right questions. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

The more you say these words with conviction and presence, the more you experience what it means to show up for yourself. What it means to be there when the shit hits the fan, when your life as you know it falls to pieces. And if you are interested in deep love and leadership, it will do just that from time to time.

This weekend I celebrated the 50th year of a close friend. It was a momentous and intimate gathering, and many people who could not attend contributed their thoughts and feelings about the birthday girl via letters to be read aloud. As we sat around the candlelit table, sharing these heartfelt words of appreciation, I could feel what a profound and powerful gift was being exchanged. We were all deeply moved, ricocheting between bursts of laughter and tears. My friend saw...

  A few years ago, when Twitter was new and addicting, a tweet popped up that caught my eye. It asked, “If you were standing in front of your tribe, what would you say?” I immediately imagined myself standing in front of my Jewish ancestors. They stared at me blankly. Finally I said, “I am really, really sorry, but I don’t like Temple and I thoroughly enjoy pork.” But the novel and intended meaning of the word tribe revealed itself quickly enough,...

“I said to the abbot — I’ll get in the habit, but not in the habit” — Steven Sondheim  When I was a teenager, when you could still smoke in restaurants, I studied acting at a Summer Stock program with the soon to be famous actress Mary McDonnell. I worshipped her and thought she was the sexiest, wisest, most humble and talented woman on earth. In the mornings when I had to be up early for some lame apprentice task,...

Here we are, again at the start. So many new opportunities to lead in love, to hold your own while loving another. To love, without losing you. We look for impact in our profession, in our level of success: how much did we earn, how did we lead, what contributions did we make? But we often neglect to assess the direct impact we have daily in our personal world:     Impact on our children, our parents, our partners, our...

A little while ago I crossed paths with the most gorgeous, good natured, collarless puppy. I named him Brad Pitt-Bull and took him home. He was very friendly and well-behaved for a three-month old pup. Pit Bulls have scary reputations, but this little guy followed me around everywhere, obeyed all my commands, and waited for the chance to shower me with kisses, snuggle in my lap and fall asleep. I talked to my “in the know” dog friends and learned...

Years ago, I learned about my limitations from a dog I rescued up the road. This summer, when we picked up this rascally-angel from the pound, I sensed we were in for it. Kedra (for my Facebook followers who saw the post introducing her, {click for cutie-pic!} there really is no “n” in her name, it’s just that since everybody adds it, I thought I’d simply introduce her that way), the new addition to the family, is a lover, a...

September: That bittersweet month for summer lovers when the lightly marked appointment books and lively green memories fade into the speckled background of fall foliage. It’s a time of new beginnings: a new school year, new projects, new ambitions, goals and if you’re lucky, a new pair of boots. Change is literally in the air, and in the quality and vibrancy of the light. Many books are written about human beings’ fear of change. My observation is that it isn’t...