Wouldn't it be useful if more personal fights had a more professional consideration, with less defensiveness, less reactivity and less projection? The 6th post in the Relationship as a Team series.
The fourth article in the Relationship as a Team Series. Most of us have a convoluted relationship to conflict. If we're not conflict avoidant, we're conflict prone. One of the first steps to finding balance, is to be able to tell the difference between a good fight and a bad one, and act accordingly.
In the third post in the Relationship as a Team Series, Ed doesn't want to take the garbage out at night. It's too cold, he's tired. Susan finds this frustrating. In the morning it's too full, or too smelly. If he forgets, then she has to do it. They have this fight a few nights a week, before bed.
The second post in the Relationship as Team Series, scheduled maintenance talks require couples who avoid talking to each other to move towards conscious teamwork and allows couples who work too hard to live life with each other, instead of processing life with each other all the time.
A client came to me distraught. He had been struggling in his relationship. His fiancée was non-responsive to his needs. She was consumed with and depressed about a touchy situation at work and wanted to stay home, enjoy take-out and watch TV, preferably with but even without him.
With all the choices and information about relationships we now have available to us, I am still surprised by how many people jump into serious partnerships -- business, close friendships and yes, marriages -- without laying any groundwork to see if the other is on the same page about the future. Final post in the Leadership in Relationship series.
When you clarify your roles in relationship and bring consciousness to the leadership in them, something sacred happens. All the energy dedicated to jockeying for power and position gets contained in conscious roles, and frees you up to really focus on loving and on things you love to do together.
There is a lot of solid advice out there about good communication, but you may have noticed that these guidelines can fly out the window when one is emotionally triggered! Since roles really determine the types of conversations you can have, I want to encourage you to get crystal clear on your roles in your relationships . . .because no matter how good your communication skills are, when roles get confused, crazy comes to play.
I know what some of you might be thinking. Ummm, Blair, did I read the title of this one correctly? Arrogance is bad. Of course, arrogance can be a big problem in love and leadership. In a recent and poignant tweet chat about vanity, members of one of my online leadership communities became so fierce about this flaw, it was bordering on arrogant. But if everything light has a shadow, isn’t the opposite also true? Let me explain. A while...