Intimate Authority


Intimate Authority™

A 7-week Course to Co-creating Dynamic and Drama-free Partnerships—Without Losing Yourself


Do you lie awake at night, going over fights in your ahead, fearing you’ve “lost yourself” or your true path, by being in a relationship?

Do you wonder how many times you can have the SAME FIGHT about time, sex, money or the kids, or #insertissuehere?

Do you often feel like you are living with a roommate, not your spouse?

Are you starting to wonder if romantic love or committed relationships just aren’t for you?

These are the kinds of musings I hear all the time, on couches in my office and at my favorite coffee shops, where I hangout with friends.

Single, gay, straight, bi, trans, married or poly, if you are sick of the drama, confusion and chronic dissatisfaction we all seem to be putting up with in our intimate relationships, or curious about how to create a relationship that does not require losing yourself or incessant button pushing, then you’re in the right place.



Can you imagine a relationship that feels satisfying? That celebrates the best in you? That leaves enough time to do other things you love? And that doesn’t keep you up at night (unless you’re in the mood)?

I designed Intimate Authority™ to help thoughtful romantics learn how to co-create dynamic and drama-free relationships, and put some of the chaos and confusion to rest.

It’s a 7-week online course (expanded from a four-week live webinar course called Lovers and Leaders) that teaches singles and couples—of any sexual orientation—in their own homes, at their own pace, how to co-lead with their current or future partners, in order to create a satisfying intimacy—a visionary relationship, that won’t require tons of “work.”

“Intimate Authority™ (nee Lovers and Leaders) created a completely unique space for my partner and I to communicate and find new common ground from which to keep building together. Blair’s mastery as a facilitator allowed each of us to feel fully heard and supported. It was also a pleasure to learn from other couples—both those who have been together for a much longer time, as well as newer couples—who are also on the journey towards increased vulnerability and intimacy.”

As an established psychotherapist of 16 years who began working with leaders, teams and organizations in prestigious organizations, I began to see some revolutionary connections between the problems in organizations and in couples. And I realized that effective leaders know some powerful stuff about communicating that lovers don’t:

  • They know how to have the types of conversations that move things forward—without getting so bent out of shape—or at least without letting their upset take center stage.
  • They know how to build bridges to people who communicate differently from themselves.
  • They understand that most things go in phases and cycles.
  • When drama comes along that threatens to take them far off course, they know how to reconnect with their vision—what their real purpose is—to find strategies that will bring them back on track.

As someone who has been in and out of monogamous relationships and on a hunt for a true partnership (just celebrated a year with a new partner!) I can tell you first hand how using the principles I teach in this course to find and keep the love I sought made a world of difference to me, both as a single and coupled person. Before I understood the phases and cycles of relationship, before I knew what it meant to truly be on a team, and before I created a clear vision of the type of life and love I wanted, I would get burnt out and hopeless when each possible connection didn’t pan out. I frequently felt bruised, often lonely, and occasionally desperate about finding love. Although being in therapy and understanding myself was helpful, it didn’t really make dating or getting to know someone any easier.


“Blair taught us skills that are useful in romantic relationships, but also in any relationship including the one with myself. I feel lighter, more powerful, more grounded, and more assured as a result of what I learned in this course. I feel ready to show up for my next relationship in a way that brings out the best in myself and my partner. This is liberation!”

Sarah Jacob, Consulting CFO and Tango Keynote Expert,


And then I decided to take a hint from what I was teaching and learning with leaders, and step into my authority in DATING.
Click here to read more about my story of using leadership in love.

First, I started by throwing out my “wish list” of qualities I wanted in a mate (you know, the one we’re all told to make, the one that includes adjectives like: attractive, good sense of humor, successful, etc.) and supplanting it with a vision, which sounded more like this: I want to partner with a cheerful person who also has a lot going on vocationally, and is interested in and capable of co-creating a fabulous relationship, centered on play. (This immediately eliminated grumps, tortured artists, and misery lovers from my purview). Then, I knew if I wanted to create fun, I needed to start having lots of it, even in the drudgery of dating. I stopped playing the role of “nice girl” on dates in favor of more dynamic roles, and enjoyed watching what parts of me dating brought out in me, with different men. I learned how to say “no” to dates and potential mates who didn’t fit my vision. Once I became clear on the type of relationship I wanted to create, knowing when to say yes and no became much easier.

As I moved into long-term relationships I began to try out different types of conversations with my partner, based less on feelings and more on what I wanted. I studied the choreography of our fights. This was powerful, because I found I could avoid and predict them—which meant I spent a lot less time in drama and a lot more time being happy, with or without my partner. We created ground rules that, if followed, made fighting in an emotionally destructive way nearly impossible. I got to know the ways my partner operated and the best strategies, times, and tone to address things. I felt more authorized to ask for what I wanted and less of a need to be understood. This was incredibly freeing and allowed me to experience myself in my leadership and feel closer to and love my partner more deeply.

You can read plenty on my blog about how I’ve helped tons of lovers with the leadership skills I teach in Intimate Authority™. For example, one couple, endlessly fighting about sex, appointed one partner as the CSO (Chief Sexual Officer) and cleared up their fights and another, learned to use leadership skills in juggling kids and daily life, and countless others.

“Working with Blair completely changed the way I view myself in my relationship. I no longer feel victimized by my own sense of inadequacy. Instead, I really see myself as a leader in my home, and it feels much better.  Oh, and my wife is nudging me. She’s way happier, too.

Eddie N., IT Director, Seattle

I have synthesized all these skills, ideas and strategies into one amazing, heart-opening course that can set you up to rewrite the story that’s been causing you grief, and give you the tools to co-create and co-lead the right relationship.


Intimate Authority™

Co-creating Dynamic and Drama-free Partnerships, Without Losing Yourself



7 Weekly modules complete with easily digestible, 15-20 minute videos, downloadable tools, templates, “how to” guides, practice assignments and additional resources.

Week 1: Introduction: The 6 Elements of a Working Team

Week 2: Roles: How to Play the Best Parts in Your Relationship

Week 3: Fighting Fair, Pt. I: Avoiding Fights, Preventing Drama

Week 4: Fighting Fair, Pt. II: Negotiate, & Other No-Drama Tactics

Week 5: Vision: The Glue that Binds

Week 6: Beyond Date Night: How to Keep Things Working without A lot of Work

Week 7: Conclusion: Accountability & Everyday Ways of Leading in Love

PLUS 4 FREE QnA Calls (with groups course structure only): Mini-lectures and lots of time for your questions, to help you integrate the information into your personal circumstances via personal coaching!


  • Have a powerful vision for your relationship that will unite you with your partner or make your next partner easier to spot
  • Reduce fighting by 50% or more. REALLY.
  • Stand in your authority in intimacy by being less reactive and more creative
  • Increase experiences that you both want, e.g. fun, sex, closeness, etc.
  • Feel more relaxed and connected to yourself when things aren’t perfect

This course is for:

Married (hetero and same-sex) couples:Is this all there really is?

Perhaps you feel your love is stale, stalled, or that bickering has taken over — and even though I know you think it’s because of such and such, underneath all that, it is mainly because you don’t know what it is you are really doing with each other. You need a guiding force, a vision, and a way to communicate that is not emotionally charged. Then you need systems — e.g. regularly scheduled meetings — in order to keep the ship running in a fresh direction.

New, Long term or Engaged couples: Is this really The One?

Loving another person is actually easy, but knowing how to activate that love in today’s world can be very complicated. What’s the next level for us? When/how do we move in? How do we keep from getting into power struggles again and again? What is too much work and what is not enough? Learn how to negotiate for what you want without a lot of emotional drama. Stop harmful fights before they happen, and set up maintenance systems that will help you review your relationships, clear the air and make the necessary improvements you desire.

Life /Business Partners:I love you but our business is killing us

Together you are putting great things into the world — but your roles are all confused. Are we business partners at dinner, or lovers? When are you working on the business and when do you play? Who are you at work and who are you at home, in bed, etc.? The exploration of roles in Intimate Authority™ will especially help you create the boundaries and flex the muscles you need to succeed at work and love.

Singles: Finding and keeping a real relationship is so hard

It’s true, creating successful relationship takes work. You need a vision for how you want to feel in life and love, and a clear sense of the type of person that could help you activate those feelings. The module on teamwork, testing, and the phases of love will be particularly useful in not taking certain rough patches of being single personally. You’ll have renewed hope in finding the one and know what to do when you find him or her.

Therapists and Coaches: I’m sick of watching clients fight on my couch

Intimate Authority™ outlines a new model of relationship, that can infuse your practice with an exciting way of helping couples fall in love and create relationships that work —  without a lot of drama or “work.” Teach your clients how to lead. They will love you for it.

Best Friends: My friends are my family

For many these days, friendships are their most intimate relationships. Learn how to keep your friendship vision-centered and ever-evolving.  You may never fight again.

Leaders who want to improve their personal relationships: I’m great at work, but not in love.

You will have some important insights into your struggles with intimacy and how to use your natural strengths to overcome them.


This course is NOT for:

Couples or singles in deep psychological, emotional or financial crisis

Prices are per household

Intimate Authority Course (8 spots)
$297 ($700 value)
7- week course
IA Workbook
4 -Free Coaching QnA calls
Intimate Authority Package 1 (4 avail)
$449 ($900 value)
7- week course
IA Workbook
4 -Free Coaching QnA calls
1 private session - to help you integrate the course to your specific needs, can be divided into two segments
Intimate Authority Package 2 (4 avail)
$549.00 (1100.00 value)
7- week course
IA Workbook
4 -Free Coaching QnA calls
2 private sessions -- the personal guidance you need to help you be sure to transform the way you relate

Still not sure? Are you on the fence? Interested, but doubtful? Thinking something like:

Q. “Do I really want to invest in an online course . . . for relationships?”

A. What is more important in life than our relationships? Learning privately at your own pace — and if desired, with other singles and couples in a community who know how it feels to be frustrated in love — is a terrific way to grow your ability to give and receive love. Intimate Authority™  teaches the necessary elements of teamwork; how to examine roles you’ve simply fallen into playing and how to choose new ones that excite you; how to negotiate instead of fight and actually prevent fights that go nowhere; and finally, how to create a vision for your relationship that will help orient and unite you towards something bigger. Relationship skills enable your life to change — at home and at work — in so many ways for the better. You will feel more love and you will feel the joy of being a positive influence.

Q. I’ve got a hectic life. How much time will it take?

A. Intimate Authority™ course work will be 40 minutes to an hour per week. Then, depending on the homework and if you have a private session, or attend the QnA session (group format only), it could run up to 2.5 hours. That’s not a lot of time to invest in creating a rich and vital romance. A new module of the course will be delivered to you at the beginning of each week, so you have all week to look it over and the weekends to complete each module. We’ll have QnA sessions at do-able hours, so we can discuss what you’re learning and how it applies to your unique situations.

It is a small time commitment, but if you think about it, isn’t love an excellent place to invest your time and money?

Q. “I’ve read some self-help relationships books and none of them really make relationships any easier. Why take Intimate Authority™?”

A. It can be hard to apply what you learn in a book into real life. But the course gives you exercises, access to a trained professional (that would be me); access to private sessions (discounted for an extra fee at sign up); a community of other people who are having real life struggles, and live Q n A sessions to learn how to apply the course to your unique situations.

Have you ever read a book that showed you how to get super clear on how you want to feel in life and love, and how to use your leadership to get it? If so, let me know!

“Blair’s rare ability to draw out what’s really going on with us and keeping you honest and accountable to yourself in the process makes her courses truly one of a kind. Throughout Intimate Authority, I learned SO MUCH from hearing Blair’s personal antidotes and relationship stories, as well as hearing from and interacting with the other participants.”

Q. I’m a private person. Why would I want to take a course on relationships with other people?

A. If you are taking the course in the On-Demand format, you don’t have to interact with others taking the course, but you can. Keep in mind that in this society — although we have come to share so much publicly, we are ashamed of our struggles in relationship. Learning with others and seeing how normal relationship struggles are helps reduce shame, which helps the transformation you are looking for to blossom. However, this course can be confidential.You can participate as you, you can participate anonymously, or not at all — just stream the videos and download the exercises and you will get a lot of valuable information that you can practice with your loved ones.

Q. What happens after I sign-up?

A. You will receive a confirmation e-mail, and the course will begin on the Monday after you register. You will receive a new module of the course at the start of each week. There are 7 modules.

You will be prompted to contact me via email with answers to some key questions.

If you have signed up for the course with private sessions, you will be sent a scheduler so that you can find times that work.

If you’re considering but still not sure, let’s talk. Email me or book a complimentary 20 minute session here

In Intimate Authority™, couples will revitalize stale long-term relationships, infuse burgeoning ones with a sense of hope and structure, and singles will learn a model for how to do the next one right.
Intimate Authority™ promises that if you follow the actions given in the course, it will increase your sense of connection and hope, and decrease your fighting, by at least 50, if not more. If you keep up with practicing the skills, over time you can get that percentage even lower.

I hope you’ll join us in Intimate Authority. You will never regret investing in love.

Intimate Authority, 7-week course, Drop down for options