A client recently referred to me as a “team whisperer” of sorts. It took a while to figure out that what I have been doing in my trainings and with my equal obsession with leadership and personal relationships is creating thriving teams – within an individual, a relationship or an office – and fixing broken ones.
While I was reflecting a great deal about the ingredients of successful teams, I found myself ruminating on one very special ability: holding two seemingly opposing views, feelings or pictures at one time. Or what I like to call The Art of Holding Both.
Trudging through a recent break-up, there are times when I feel awash in a multi-layered fog of loss. When I allow the dismal thoughts and stories associated with the feelings to lead (“I am alone,” “I will be alone forever,” “I am too old, too picky, etc.”), the team within is immobilized. I find myself wandering aimlessly in a very bleak forest. But when I cradle my pain in one arm while holding faith, hope and trust in myself in the other, I move through the world with an exquisite tension.
This tension is like sandpaper. It is the grueling labor of muscle building. It is the fertile garden of creativity and vitality.A successful romantic partnership is able to soar in ecstasy and deal effectively with conflict. Click To Tweet
A good lover or parent can be irritated by and grateful for their beloved in the same breath.A strong leader knows how to tolerate setbacks and move towards the stated vision. Click To Tweet
A valuable team member withstands the frustration that his teammate is not a great presenter while knowing that the information being delivered at the meeting is crucial for the team’s development.
It’s an art.