Hint: "Not being your old nasty boss" is not a leadership strategy.

Empowerment and Entitlement can look alike. But to people we interact with, they don't feel the same.

Flying in what feels like a tin can is very scary. But focusing on a task helped me ignore the fear and soar into joy.

When people are under the gun, unless they are super clear on what their job is, they may unconsciously resort to four main default "jobs," while what they are actually contracted to do takes a close, sometimes distant second.

All through dinner prep and catching up with my friend, I breathed into my discomfort as I focused my full attention on him. My task was to really reconnect with my friend. We swapped stories and smiles, and even with the nagging provocation hangover, I was enjoying the reunion. About halfway through the meal, a miraculous thing happened. . .

Although it was a special Valentine's Day dinner, in a very pricey restaurant, we could hear the conversation of the couple next to us all too well. They weren't loud: We were quiet. Silent, in fact.

Success does not discriminate between the two. But true Leadership does. You will be recognized, followed and deeply appreciated as a leader if you embody a healthy self-esteem. You will be occasionally respected, often reviled and at best tolerated if you lead with your grandiosity. Do you have the strength to look at yourself and know the difference?

When you clarify your roles in relationship and bring consciousness to the leadership in them, something sacred happens. All the energy dedicated to jockeying for power and position gets contained in conscious roles, and frees you up to really focus on loving and on things you love to do together.

A beautiful female colleague of mine is getting married for the first time at 51. A friend of mine in his late 40's just found a line of work that truly suits him. A brilliant 46-year-old acquaintance recently adopted a baby. Do these ages seem a little "late in life" to you? It appears these days that people are taking longer to get it together.